Castlevania, Harmony of Despair, or Dick There?

“Wow, what a bold statement” “So intense” “My eyeballs need to be cleaned”
I can hear you all comment, but have you seen the first boss, Gergoth?

You’re thinking, “That doesn’t look to phallic”, but just wait until he rolls back that head foreskin!

It’s a giant penis with legs. “That’s a phallacy” I hear another state but, bear with me.

His attacks include shooting a white laser, stomping, jumping, AS WELL AS rolling back a skin from around his head to reveal a dark pink entirely penis looking head (albeit with teeth) and biting you.
The raw red “tail” at the end, looks like this monster has been severed from a larger monster, (perhaps from the stage 3 boss, which as far as boss sizes go, would probably have been where he was from, especially considering the stage 3 boss has several faces on his body parts).

Now I tried to reconstruct what that may have looked like, but it was too graphic to post a picture of here, so I had to censor it; let’s just say, it looks like level 3 boss is so pissed off not just because you woke him off, but because his penis had been removed…..

Makes me wonder if the level 2 boss is is jewels, I mean, it does shoot out dolls that float around like….



AND it makes PERFECT sense. I mean, in previous versions of the game, Dracula was separated into parts, so why not do it again, with the first 3 bosses this time?

Well, thank god they stopped there and didn’t make stage 8 boss a giant orgy or something…

No wait. They did.

Anyway, so now you know that you aren’t imagining things and all is clear. Perfect!

…I borrowed all the uncensored pictures from the Castlevania wiki go check them out for everything Castlevania, well, everything except this very solidly grounded observation!


3 thoughts on “Castlevania, Harmony of Despair, or Dick There?

      1. Not unless your Donald Trump doing Mass Effect 3 montages. Otherwise, your okay. There plenty of nudity on here.


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